This post is about an experience as a, “domestic violence victim.” It is NOT graphic or traumatizing. This is the road I wondered on to Becoming a Survivor!
Hey Everyone! Welcome back!
One day I decided to tell myself that my “Knight in Shining Armor,” was going to rescue and take care of me. And at age 19, that really didn’t sound to bad. I had just gotten my heart broken, I, all of a sudden, felt like I was “bigger,” than my first apartment and I thought a new scenery was something else that I needed.
Instead of valuing the moment I was in, I decided to give that up to someone that was going to take me away from All of my Problems.
Then I met, let’s call him, “Mr. Fruitcake.”
Now he didn’t know what my intentions were. Come to find out he had his own intentions.
While I was still in my own place everything was all good. He was a perfect gentlemen, I met his parents and I thought everything was going to be fine.
My 1st red flag should have been the reason he and his wife was separated. But that wouldn’t happen to me!?
Not even a month into me moving in with him, in the middle of a disagreement I was hit. There is nothing like that 1st hit because it feels like a ball of emotions you sudden become overwhelmed by. Still even though you seen the fist hit you and you feel the affects of the hit. You are still in disbelief, This wasn’t suppose to happen to me.
Slowly my time and attention was expected to be on him. He use to listen to my phone conversations. If I went anywhere, it was best that I go with his parents. Going with anyone else would lead to an altercation. I basically gave up my privacy and any type of security.
Stockholm Syndrome is real! You know all day this person is the last person you need to be around, some are life threatening even, yet every time you get a chance to leave you go back to that person.
Throughout the whole ordeal he tried to blow us up in the house one day. I was arrested for destruction of property and fined shortly after. The last time I left was when I received letter in the mail informing me to go to court about the property damage charge. (a felony dropped to a misdemeanor)
The deal breaker was the fine of a little over $900 and a dickhead for a probation officer for 18 months or at least until I paid off my fine.
The After Affect
This was the 1st time I was ever in an abusive relationship so it affected me tremendously at the time.
I don’t trust any one at all, investing time is the only way to earn my trust. When I say time, I don’t even know how long, it just depends on what the person is showing me. Now I only trust patterns.
I became a dare devil in a sense, I’d purposely put myself in risky situations just to see if I’d get myself out.
I even confused my attraction to beauty for being sexually attracted to the same sex.
Once I Decided to Take my Life Back
I not only act like but I know I Deserve Better. Life didn’t change just because I did. That didn’t stop me from continuously evolving. I remain faithful to my beliefs and provide myself with everything instead of asking anyone for anything. I reevaluated my standards, morals and values. I raised the bar on all of them, put my foot down, set in stone and is now standing my decisions because they are the BEST for ME! In 2022, I am happily single! I do not know if or when I’ll get back out in the dating pool and I really don’t care!
Please if you ever find yourself in a Domestic Violent situation, don’t hesitate to reach out to anyone! If you find out that someone close is in a Domestic Violent situation, tough love will not help the situation! Being Judgemental or Shutting Them Out will only make things worse. Just because you believe it is time for that person to leave the situation, it is not up for you to decide. The person has to want to get out or your help. If you push them to hard, you may cause them to stay in the abuse and leave you behind. Their journey is not your journey, some people have to learn on their own.
Thank you for reading about me and Mr. Fruitcake! Trust me I have more stories and names coming! Until Next Time…Take Care!
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