Hi Everyone! Welcome and Welcome Back!
The mind may grasp as much as it can. Some information takes time to fully process more than others. We can even contain to much information to the point where we don’t see what is standing right in front of us.
A cluttered mind hinders us from our spiritual awakening.
I am learning there are a plethora of ways and reasons to wake up, to name them all would be endless.
Through constant meditation & spiritual awareness, I became aware of a few people I selectively picked to be apart of my circle. Amazingly, the backlash of what I’d call the “debacle of friendships” has made me the b.i.t.c.h. I am proud to say I am today!
Just recently I found out we have to learn how to pick people. It was referred to romance relationships but I see the importance in being selective about whom you consider to be your friend as well.
In my childhood, I had dysfunction in my life. My head was full of so much information (processed and unprocessed) that I did not get a chance to hear my inner voice. Obviously, the universe was aware because it was my grandma Ola who told me straight up, “You don’t have no friends.”
Today, I will be sharing two stories about two particular friendships that I survived:
One day my dad looked outside and said, “There’s some kids playing on the field. Gone out there!” There were two boys and a little girl sliding on a cardboard down the hill. Let’s call her, “Diamond.” From that day forward we were pretty much inseparable.
One instance in particular, my first grade birthday party. I invited Diamond. When she came she decided to bring a guest. The guest she invited was not a friend as a matter of fact she wasn’t invited because of the torment she gave me at school. But because Diamond was my “friend” I sucked it up and treated her guest like my guest. But lil Jacinta did note that and other things throughout the years.
Years later, we’re grown now! (Just 19 lol) I had my first apartment, my own car and a decent job to afford everything. What I had was good as a starter. Diamond is now married, got just 1 kid at the time, great up to date car and as far as I know was happy.
Diamond blossomed! She’s gorgeous so she’s more outgoing as a matter of fact she’s introducing me to nice looking suitors. I never gave it much thought of anything else because from my stand point Diamond had it made plus she didn’t tell me anything different. Little did I know she was using my place as a front to her husband but was actually meeting other men behind everyone’s back.
One day I received a phone call from Diamond informing me that she just cheated on her husband, like as soon as the guy left her sister’s place, she washed up and called me. I can’t remember what was said but I know I didn’t cheer her on. Weeks later, she called me to share she cheated with the same guy at the same place again. Again I chewed her out.
Diamond finds out she’s pregnant! Guilt, remorse and fear took over her. While dealing with her husband asking me if she’s cheating. I’m constantly telling her to tell him. She didn’t listen to me. One day I was dropping her off at home and her husband opens my door to snatch her out. When he stuck his head in my car, I was told to stay away from his wife, that’s his wife and he’ll buy her (I’m not going to use the word he used) stuff she needs! Being that I didn’t know wtf he was talking about, I simply asked, “Well could you close my door?”
Her and I continued to communicate from 2004-2015. In 2007, I moved to Atlanta to pursue a career in the aviation industry.
When I returned to Macon in 2015, I ended up living somewhere close to where Diamond & her husband were located. Her husband and I were hanging out with one of my former classmates one day.
He ended up saying specific words that only I knew about. At that time I began asking myself wtf is he talking about. I started picturing that time, what transpired and the obvious conclusion he must have come to. He actually believe that I influenced or had something to do with her cheating! In a room full of people, I told him I know exactly what he’s talking about so gone ahead and say it so I can bust ya! He just put his head down and after I bid a good night to everyone, I left.
I found myself reaching out to Diamond to clear the air but something always came up. That told me she had to have been okay with the conclusion. So in 2020 just before 2021, I left her a “nice” message informing her she’s been dropped from my “friend list” in life permanently.
I was on the way to school, I saw kids playing on the playground, not thinking anything about it I kept going. As I got closer to the school, I could see those kids leaving the playground coming towards me. As they gathered around me, this girl approaches me. Let’s call this girl, “Mild.” She tells me she heard that I said something about her grandmother. (this is how you know I was destined to be a Trip) I said I don’t even know you to say anything about your grandma and walked off.
She bullied me for 2 years. On the first day of school in 6th grade, my heart dropped when I saw her name on the roll with mines. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as I expected but it’s not worth going into much details of that epic failure of a friendship.
It seems she may not be aware of the type of “friend” she was to me, I just decided to name the ones I know about:
- Tried to set me up to get beat up numerous times.
- Told me I was fat because I was thicker than she was at the time. (You should see her now)
- Behind my back, went to other potential friends and ran them off.
- With the gun situation and anytime we were caught doing wrong, you would attempt to throw me under the bus to save yourself.
- You got me suspended in the 8th grade and cost me an opportunity to get into an arts and music program.
- Even though my probation officer would’ve had me arrested if I was found guilty, you and your mother still threatened to lie on me after I just proved I was innocent. smmfh
- You would constantly bite my ideas. (that was so erking)
- The final straw: You and your mother slandering my name with Aids!
I was in contact with Mild just like Diamond. I found out everything Mild had done throughout our whole friendship just before I moved back to Macon, Georgia.
An example for listeners to follow is finding out from the source. I called her for months. Due to her lack of response, I decided it must be true and closed that chapter of my life. Come to find out she had been saying the Aids thing since 2007, she was talking to me on the phone the whole time.
Today Mild is a successful success story! I wish her all the best!!
Whenever we decide to tell lies on other people, we have to weigh what we can control and what we can not. Once the lie leaves our tongue, it can take on a life of it’s own. I believe both Diamond and Mild anticipated on me never returning back to Macon. Diamond never considered if her husband and I was ever in the same room. Mild never thought about the fact some people put faces with information. Not once did she think I have been getting checked every year since I was 16 years old.
Both of them never considered how I would respond or if I would want anything else to do with them once I found out. Mild never thought about the day everyone would find out that I am Disease Free! She lied to them and had them telling her lies on me. People knew we were supposed to be tight and even til this day I don’t have nothing bad to say about no one. I thank them for everything they ended up doing!
Growing up, I can honestly say there were signs. I saw what I wanted to see because I wanted them as friends. I was to busy being the “best friend I can be” that I didn’t realize they were only on the receiving end.
I just knew because of what I have done for them as kids, if I needed them as adults, they would be there.
I hindered myself from forming bonds with other people who could’ve been better friends.
If it wasn’t for Self Love: The rumors would’ve killed me, the only time I have missed going to the doctor was in 2020 because of the pandemic. So when I began hearing the rumors, all I could do was laugh because they’re not my doctor! (lol) How would they know something that my doctor doesn’t?
I could’ve easily acted out of character, made up a rumor about her or went down the line “proving” I don’t have Aids. <—That’s insecurity.
I do believe in 2nd chances but with everything they already “gotten away with,” I don’t want to see if they would or wouldn’t do anything else. My trust is to precious for those who misused it the first time around.
Today, I am not into titles, for myself or others. I take the role as a friend seriously and only time will tell me if I have a friend.
Challenges for My Readers
Whenever you hear anything about another person, before you assume it’s true, Go To the Source. You will know if it is true even if that person doesn’t tell you. You will save a lot of Energy and Karma.
Instead of looking for a friend, if you are like me, simply become your own friend. Find the joy in it. By relinquishing your expectations of a friend, you will be able to enjoy what others have to offer instead of holding them up to a certain stature.
Thank you so much for reading! Until next time… Take Care!