I had to be honest with myself, my energy level was through the roof! I was full of so much hope, ambition and expectancy for the new year. Nineteen days into 2022, I lost what seems like a gigantic chunk of myself through my best buddy’s passing.
Because of my commitment to my readers, I attempted to keep going in spite of. In reality, all of the air got knocked out of me all of a sudden. I tried to keep going while gasping for air. Her death was the last thing anyone expected. Although I was trying to move on, I realized how hard it was to get through the day to what is now two months after.
I ended up stressing and crying so much, I had a sudden eczema outbreak that became so inflamed, I ended up in the emergency room. During the days I was out of work, I had to set my grief aside to focus on preventing my skin (head to toe) from turning on me.
For anyone who isn’t familiar with eczema or atopic dermatitis, it is a medical condition where the skin is rough and dry. It may blister and crack, if not treated may become inflamed. Once it is inflamed and/or infected, that is when it is best to seek medical treatment.
Along with me taking medication, I had to make sure I kept my skin moisturized all day. Once I returned to work, my energy level was still low. With acknowledging how much disruption this has caused within myself and my life, I decided to take a step back. I stepped back from all of my plans, creations and the conflict of having to let go of the last person I thought I would have to let go of.
I felt so fake. I began to think, how can I be a motivational speaker and I am not even motivated. Out of all of the elements, I am fund of air, it represents my free spirit, being up in the clouds or not having a care in the world. By me being an Earth sign, being knocked back to reality is not an uncomfortable place for me. I just have to face the fact that I have to move on in life with my buddy not being on Earth anymore.
Some Causes of Stress Worry, Anxiety, Grief, Trauma
In February, 2022, I was informed I lost 5 pounds which told me I was depressed.
Depression is viewed as an Invisible Disease. You can act like a depressed person and not know you are depressed at the time. One of my signs of depression is lack of appetite. Never experiencing this level of grief, sorrow and pain before allowed depression to sneak up on me.
By March, 2022, I was in the emergency room. Leaving me with two choices, Hold on to my Earthly feelings or Get Myself Back Together (Regroup).
Through Choosing to Regroup, I Am: Eating healthy, Exercising, Taking Vitamins Daily, Getting Plenty of Rest, Enjoying Company, Staying in Contact with Support System, Being Focused at Work, Creating in my Studio/Home Office, Looking Forward to posting a lot of New Content Staying Hydrated
It made me more aware of the impact that we have on each other. Even if we aren’t kin to one another, we can still leave a mark on a person that is beyond blood. She was like my little sister, she knew everything about me since I was nine years old and she ended up being someone who kept me inspired.
I am slowly returning to my old self and making peace with life. It is helping me become more expressive through my crafts. I still have challenges but because I am open to growing from them, I am constantly reminded that The Rest Is Possible!
Thank You All for Your Time! Until Next Time…Keep Shining & Take Care!
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