My Farewell to our Family’s Last Elder: Barbara Jean Allen

Hey Everyone! I have to admit, when this year was coming in, I was first in line for everything I thought was to come. It feels embarrassing to see that the year had it’s own plans involving people who I hold dear to me. As you know in January I lost my closet childhood friend from a fatal car accident. In March, my Aunt and eldest in the family went in the hospital, on April 11, 2022 her heart stopped. Ironically, is exactly 10 years after her mom, my Grandmom Ola passed away.

She was 76 years old. Her and my dad, late Robert Allen we’re twins. She retired from General Motors Corporation and a day away from retiring from being the long time secretary/treasurer at Ebenezer Baptist Church of Macon, Georgia since she was in college.

At age 3, my mom, dad, brother and I moved to 2059 Canton Street. My Grandmom Ola and her baby brother lived alone until we moved in. Auntie lived on her own but she would stop by often to see us and my Grandmom. Whenever I acted out, she was the one everyone would call. Even talking over the phone she could make me cry or scare me to the point of straightening up. I hated when my Grandmom called her because she would while I was in my moment so my Auntie could hear me in the background.

Her and I bumped heads because we both were strong minded, strong willed women of our truth. She wanted what was best for me and she wanted me to succeed. She didn’t know how to relay that to me to where my little mind could understand.

I remember hearing her tell my dad, “I just don’t know how to get through to her!” My dad looked at me and said with a sense of confidence, “She’ll be alright.” (Mind you my parents knew what to expect being my birthday and name) Through my perception of why she treated me a certain way, I found the sense of misplacement. For only reasons known to her, she tried to treat me as if I was one of her own, as in mothering. The conflict that rose was the fact that not only did I know who my birth mother was, I was in the middle of trying to establish a relationship with my real mother.

Let me tell it, between my older brother and I, she was harder on me. Being in a child’s victimized state of mind, her “tough love” wasn’t my definition of love so it wasn’t love at all. When I was a teenager we use to argue but that was because we both were stubborn.

I started off leaving the city and sometimes the state to get away. I later found out, I was just running from. Problems I had at home followed me because some of the problems were me. I was angry, I didn’t know how to communicate effectively, I’m use to not being heard, understood or respected so how could I expected anything different? I moved to Missouri and later to Washington, D.C then returned to Macon, Georgia.

In 2007, I decided to run to an opportunity instead of running from my familial problems. So I went to school in Atlanta, Georgia to get far enough away to get my life on track but close enough to my family just in case they ever needed me. The whole time I was in school, all I wanted to do was make my family proud.

As I grew to become a grown lady her morals, values and standards began to make sense to me. She wanted me to be self sufficient. I totally understand that now.

From afar I did admire her and eventually even her words stuck in my head. She instilled greatness, integrity, initiative, creativity, business, confidence and faith in me.

Today, I am employed, a business owner, single, no children. It was my destiny to learn through life experiences but I learned. I still use some of the things they taught me today. I have my own place, I live alone, I have a great relationship with my immediate family members and have a bright future ahead.

Most people assume that she was closest to others or that she wasn’t even in contact with me. Once I grew into the dignified young lady that I am, I chose to maintain a healthy relationship with my family members. I chose to leave any past negativity behind. Because of that, I have always had the opportunity to see a family off with no regrets. I always reach out and make the most of every opportunity.

My family’s household consisted of my Grandmom Ola, my great-uncle MC, my daddy, my mommy, my older brother Bob and myself. Even though my Auntie didn’t live with us, she was always there when we needed her. She always encouraged me to never give up! She practiced what she preached. She worked until she had to go to the hospital.

Now it’s just my older brother Bob, his three kids and I. That story is to be continued but I do thank you for your patience and continuance in visiting my page! Until Next Time….Keep Shining and Take Care!!

Yours Truly

A picture she took of my Grandmom Ola, my brother and I

4 comments

  1. I am so happy that you are able to see that your aunt wanted what was best for you all the time. It takes longer for some of us to realize that. I hope that you will stay strong and make your aunt proud of the woman you are becoming !

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to Jacinta Yvette Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s